i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
