I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
