dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
