it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
