there were more penises there than on chat roulette
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
