i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's blow job season.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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