And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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