i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
