remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
