she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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