I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize