Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
