We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Blood and glitter go together right?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
