You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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