my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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