id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize