I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
