Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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