ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
