C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
