I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
