I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize
