dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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