Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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