Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
