$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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