i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Operation Purity has been aborted
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
