Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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