Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Congratulations! We have a period
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
