i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
