I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
