You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I currently don't understand fingers.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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