I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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