Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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