if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
