no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
