she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
