he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
