We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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