Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Still dying that you shit outside
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
