I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
literally had 100 drinks last night.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
