I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he fucked my hip out of place.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
