Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
