Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize