The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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