Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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