Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize