How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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