Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
