Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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