I have demons in me.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize