I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
