your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
babies were throwing up all over the place
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
