She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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