Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
