You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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