there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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