Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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