Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
