I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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