let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Randomize
