I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
