it was like his penis was on wheels.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
