I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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