and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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