I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
