Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
